In a world increasingly dominated by kale smoothie cleanses and yoga-cycle retreats, unFIT is the fitness tracker for the rest of us.
Reclaim your life from weekend workouts and green-colored juice— and get unFIT! Regimen approved by Doug Stanhope, unFIT guru.
Q: What is unFIT?
A: An app that rewards you for doing everything and doing nothing.
Q: So this means I get rewarded for not doing anything?
A: No—you have to do nothing.
Q: What kind of nothing?
A: The unFIT trainer will present you with challenges: “ponder frogs”; “chill out without touching your phone”; etc. As you gain experience, you will level up and power down.
Q: So like American life.
A: Well done! Nothing is lazier than that kind of joke.
Q: What do I do if I don’t like a challenge?
A: Do nothing at all.
Q: What do I do if I run out of challenges?
A: You might have to not do anything.
Q: Why won’t the trainer challenge me again?
A: The trainer grew annoyed.
Q: Why did you develop unFIT?
A: Why anything?
Q: How can I be more like unFIT guru?
A: Devote your life to being unFIT.
Q: Do you need to complete the challenges to receive the points?
Q: Do I need an Apple Watch to play?
A: Nope, an iPhone works too.
Q: Will unFIT still work if I drop my iPhone?
A: Probably not.
Q: Will I will ever be asked to drop my iPhone as a dare?
A: Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you have to.
WHAT THEY’RE SAYING:
“At once the best and worst life coach you’ll ever have.”
“Have a kale smoothie for breakfast because you’re having gin for dinner.”
“The key to creativity is playing fast and loose with your sources.”